The Las Vegas Courtesan

Posts Tagged ‘handjob’

The Red Hot Chili Pepper Escort

Tuesday, August 4th, 2009

This is kind of a funny story to me but may make others cringe. Let’s just say I learned my lesson…

I got a call from an agency last week and the phone girl sent me over to Hooters Hotel and Casino. I get the room information, get the company fee pretty quickly, and find out the guy is working with a small budget along (I think the company was going to make more than me!) but worked out a deal. The guy apologized knowing that he wasn’t going to be in for much but a hand job, but said it was all right since he was so extremely drunk he knew he would have some performance issues if sex was involved anyway. Worked out perfectly.

I put on a condom with lube in it and more lube on the outside and try to work some life back into his drunken dick. It eventually worked and he ended up finishing surprisingly. He kept complimenting me on how nice I was and how hot he thought I was but then when cleaning himself off his eyes got BIG. He yelps, “What WAS that you put on my dick?!?! Warming gel.. oh my god my dick is on FIRE” and hops up towards the bathroom. Suddenly he wasn’t drunk and was speaking in un-slurred English. What is he talking about? I hate warming lube and never use it. Then it dawns on me and my mind rewinds about 2 hours at home…

Earlier I was making myself some food to snack on for the week while I’m out on calls and have no time to stop to grab food. This snack includes me chopping up a fresh hot red fresno pepper finely to spice up my meal. A little forgotten fact is when you chop peppers those oils seep into your skin, hence my now burning client. Oh my what have I done. I totally had killed his buzz and whatever happiness was from ejaculating. When I realized my mistake explained he tried smiling but it was hard to do. Embarrassed, I left in more of a hurry. Lesson learned! Wear gloves when chopping peppers next time on a work night.

The Most Original Las Vegas Bachelor Party, I Tell Ya!

Saturday, July 7th, 2007

Not too long after the event in the last blog entry I went to a call at the Tropicana Hotel by myself and the phone girl informed me it was a couple call. I do entertain couples but my general rule is that I don’t perform oral sex on girls… don’t get me wrong I love girls, I just don’t want to hassle with using dental dam (plus I am sure it doesn’t feel that great anyway). Luckily most couples aren’t interested in that anyway…

So, I show up and there are two guys, stoned out of their mind and they explain to me that it’s their friend’s bachelor party. I was confused, “I thought this was for a couple”, I said. They replied, “Oh it is, they are just in the next room”. The guy and girl come out, one a voluptuous girl and a skinny short guy who is more stoned/drunk than everyone else in the room. The collecting of the fee and discussing of the tips took forever but I was determined to leave with something since my night hadn’t been too great. In the end, the couple and I went to the second bedroom… giving him a hand job while they made out since they didn’t have much of a budget. The whole time the mood was kind of odd and dull but in the end he said it was “awesome”. As long as they are happy, then I am happy! I have to say though, I have never seen so much pubic hair in my life until then. ☺

The Magic Pussy

Sunday, May 20th, 2007

A girl and I went to a bachelor party call yesterday together and after a number of previous party calls that I ended up not making anything. I was not excited when we stepped in on yet another party. This party changed my luck for the night and we actually started off with decent tips for dancing and embarrassing the bachelor.

After that was all done with the guys gathered some cash to make sure their bachelor friend was taken care of at least with a hand job. Unfortunately we have to do this in the bathroom since their was only one large room. The bachelor sits down on the toilet and after he gets clean and puts on some protection, I start stroking him while the other girl takes her thong off. He isn’t too far from having an orgasm and as soon as she turns around and bends over, he twitches and its all done with. I’d say no more than 2 minutes does this all take place.

We send the bachelor off to see if anyone else is interested in some “private entertainment” with us and one guy steps in the bathroom. After convincing him that we are not just going to give a dance, he tips us for the same handjob. After taking 10 seconds to get hard, the girl does the same move of bending over and showing her pussy. Yet again the guy instantly finishes. Afterwards I tell her that she must have some sort of magical pussy for those kind of results!

 

Oscar De La Hoya vs. Floyd Mayweather Jr. and Cinco de Mayo: One knockout weekend in Vegas

Saturday, May 5th, 2007

They have been advertising the fight for months and months, every showroom in Las Vegas owned by MGM/Mirage is showing the event closed circuit, and the fans have all flooded into town. Personally, I am ready for the darn thing to be over with, but if the money I made last night is any indication of the money in town this weekend then I hope it never ends!

Around midnight to 1am I was getting pretty darn frustrated with one agency I work for. I have been working for them for years and don’t want to lose the priority I have built up with them (it always takes some time for your ability to make money become well known to the girls answering the phones and dispatch the calls), but some of the business practices and new fees have made it difficult to make calls work. There have been several nights recently where I have gone on calls for them for hours during prime times, only to be wasted on calls that didn’t answer, couldn’t get the fee, or got the fee and the client didn’t want to tip which means I walk away with nothing. These are the reasons why a lot of girls don’t like working for services but in my opinion, this way of making money is a little bit safer in Vegas… especially right now.  This company solely works from taxi cab and limo referrals so the fees are higher because the drivers get such a huge kick back. Recently the fee was upped from $200 ($150 to the driver and $50 to the company) to $250-$300 ($200-$250 to the driver STILL $50 to the company) due to competition from other companies stealing drivers. Its insane, and I know every one else reading this will be shocked. You can see why sometimes its hard to collect these fees when all the customer is getting is a strip and I am walking away with nothing if they don’t tip above that fee. So now I am sure many will ask, so why do you even work for this company? It is one of about five that I work for and even though their fees are high, I still do make money from them (though lately some of these nights I run around for nothing) and when I get tired and frustrated of running around for them, I sometimes call off and focus more on other services that I work for.

Anyway… there was a whole point to that diversion. I was getting frustrated last night, like I said, and was really close to calling it quits with them for the night around 5:30am because I was missing calls from other services that I thought would be easier to deal with. I gave in and finally said, ok one more chance but this better not be a waste of time. She swore it wouldn’t. I show up at THEhotel at Mandalay Bay and it turns out to be 4 girls, 2 guys and the agency fee is $250 a girl. Jesus Christ, I thought it was supposed to be good?! That means the fee is $1,000 total? That’s absolutely insane. We go upstairs and the two guys are here from Puerto Rico for the De La Hoya v. Mayweather fight. After chatting we actually collect the fee of $1,000. All four of us are kind of shocked and start talking tips after we all split up: 2 girls for each guy. The other girl and I get some money upfront to start giving him the minimum hand job when we finally convince him of giving us more so he can have what he is requesting: having sex with the both of us. Though this is probably every guy’s fantasy, it is quite annoying to pull off with two prostitutes. It’s a total mood killer for the guy when we are going through condoms, getting him to wash up or washing ourselves, and constant trips to the bathroom. The guy has sex with her first for about 2 minutes before the alcohol in his system makes him lose his erection, then after more washing and condom changing he tries having sex with me which lasted even shorter before his erection was lost. After an hour he hasn’t had an orgasm and realizes maybe he did drink too much the last night.  Even though that was frustrating, it ended up being a good end to the already decent night.

Lesson everyone should learn? Don’t spend thousands of dollars when you have drunk too much to enjoy your fantasy with two girls.

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