Las Vegas Escorts Blog – Nudes – Photography – Erotica

I had said something on my Twitter feed a while back that I was shocked to learn after so many years, the typically used condom by most working girls I know, had changed. I didn’t think anything of it when I made my bi-monthly stop into Costco and loaded up 5+ boxes of the condoms into my cart and saw the yellow notice, “Now with improved lube!” Let me tell you of the odd looks I get at Costco. Flats of water, laundry detergent, house cleaning supplies, toilet paper, and a slew of Trojan condom boxes laying on top of everything (since it’s the last isle before checkout). Too bad they don’t have one of those pump style lube bottles in there because I would get that too!

So I got to a newer box finally and was on a call. I opened up the condom and immediately noticed not only is the lube different but the latex is as well. I always get the thickest condoms (along with most other girls here) for obvious reasons, and hated to see that the latex seemed thinner and more transparent. The good thing about the new lube is it doesn’t taste nasty any more. The previous version was covered in slimy sticky sweetness that I wiped off every time, which sometimes still didn’t get rid of it all. Now I am just worried about the thickness of the condoms. It doesn’t seem super thin but I hate a change in something I’ve come to trust for years! Misleading packaging for sure, but there isn’t another brand I would switch to that I would trust the same.

I mentioned in my Twitter a hint to planning a bachelor party: don’t book your party to stay on the same floor as your future wife’s bachelorette party. Seems like pretty common sense right? Well apparently some people aren’t born with such gifts! I got a call around 2AM to go to Circus Circus from an agency that usually books from referrals only. I pull in, the phone girl verifies the client is in the room, and I get the room number to go up. As I get into the elevator, two girls dressed up for the night (yet minus their heels as so many Vegas girls end up doing from walking all night in new heels and have untrained feet) pushes their way into the elevator as the doors closed. One was drunkenly babbling about being mad at her boyfriend, and I really wasn’t paying attention until I heard one of the drunken girls say, “What room is he in? I’m gonna KILL him if there is someone in there!!” and proceeds to ramble out the exact room number I am going to. Oh lord. I double-check my phone to make sure that the long room number matches, and it definitely does. I’m stuck and can’t hit another floor number since I was first on, so I had to think of some sort of plan to not seem obvious.

The doors open and the girls barge their way out first and go towards the room but are met in the hall by two guys. I didn’t even really look down to that end of the hall, but I turned the other direction going towards some random room while fake fumbling through my purse. After fumbling for a minute I pick up my phone and call the service as I hear one of the girls at the end yelling, “I HATE YOU. I can’t trust you for anything! I wanna go in there… I know you got some hooker in your room!” I explained to the phone girl what was going on and she called the room. Yelling was still going on but the guy who answered the phone explained it was just him in the room and the argument was with his brother outside. I kept fumbling for an imaginary room key while talking and noticed the two drunken girls were now stomping towards me. Oh crap. They were still a ways off but had definitely passed their turn off to the elevator. I spoke a little louder on the phone, “Really, I have NO idea where the hell I put my key. I’m looking everywhere!”

The girls got about 5-10 feet away and I heard the more sober one mumble, “You don’t know if she is…” but pulled the angry drunken friend back when she heard me blabbing about my lost key. I looked up just in time to give some confused look, still babbling on the phone, and watch them head back to the elevators. Whew!

The girls eventually get on the elevators after yelling a few more incoherent things to the two guys, and I wander back down the hall towards the two guys and elevators (come to find out was the bachelor and father of the groom-to-be). I met them in the middle and said, “Wow I don’t know what that was but who called?” and they explain the entertainment is for the brother in the room, who apparently has been single for years and spent too much at the club for dances. This was a surprise for him, but since the bachelor and brother share a room the bride-to-be thought there was some hanky panky going on with the bachelor, not the future brother-in-law.
In the end? The call worked out fine with the brother (no angry drunken girl interruptions), and he made the whole mess clear to me. Come to find out the bachelorette party and bachelor party were doing their activities separately, but some smart member of the family had booked everything on the same floor in the hotel. So the bachelor was going to strip clubs, while the bachelorette was getting drunk and creating conspiracies that had her believing her fiancé was banging hookers back in the room.  I wonder how that marriage will turn out!

I got to venture out this past weekend to show up for the art show that was being put on by graduate student Lauren McCubbin and then wrote a guest blog for Richard Abowitz’s new site. Here’s another shot from the show since I can show more nudity on my site than his   (though I think pasties make it safe!)

Been quite busy lately, and I will admit that Twitter has made me somewhat of a lazy blogger! It’s a shame I know, but at least it’s a good way of keeping up with what I am doing. Like I was saying on there I am pretty excited for this upcoming week with some big conventions in town. This past Monday-Tuesday I was actually quite bored and had some down time, which I took the opportunity to watch “Girlfriend Experience”. I had heard some good words about it and since it was Steven Soderbergh, I figured it was worth a watch.

First of all I liked the way it was shot. The photography of the film is dark and rich in colors, which is something I always like in photography in general. Some of the out of focus shots I liked but one in particular shot in a bar scene was more annoying than artistic, but the nice contrast and feel in colors throughout the film I enjoyed.

The one thing I always have a hard time with shows about escorts or prostitutes is the believability of the characters and of the script. I feel the same disconnection when I watch Secret Diary of a Call Girl as well (which I need to watch on my DVR the new season 3!), and almost watch these shows or films as complete fiction and imagine a man wrote the screenplays. Some things that I found frustrating in the film was the poor acting by Sasha Grey despite the good reviews on the cover (I know those are always slanted). She came across as this emotionless, dull, and an easily manipulated character. At first I thought they were trying to portray her as a smart independent escort then I came to realize that she was written as a clueless, emotionless drone who let people tell her what to do and how to do her job, and believed every word they said. That disturbed me (especially the parts with the manipulative hobbyist that we’ve all read on message boards), since she fell into the trap of his game of trying to increase her traffic from websites or message boards. It shows these types of people that if you play games like the hobbyist did maybe the girl will actually be dumb enough to fall for their scheme. The line where he said, “I don’t think you realize what I can do for you” made me literally laugh out loud because I have heard silly lines like this all the time. Makes me respond, “I don’t think you realize what I can do for myself!”

Other things I thought were a misrepresentation were the listing of outfits and brand names like we are all very materialistic hookers only concerned with how much we can spend on name brands for the clients (most girls I know buy the expensive bags and shoes just for themselves to feed their shopaholic side not to flaunt to the client). In fact I have had some clients say, “I like girls who dress up and look like nice, normal women, but when I see a girl overly dressed in high end fashion it makes me feel less comfortable”, but of course to each their own. Another unrealistic thing is the screening process she went through with client from the website. Are you married? How many children do you have? I would have probably hung up on her immediately. Men want to escape to someone else’s company, not feel guilty about their personal life at home.

Seems like I am being quite negative about the film, but the very emotionless attitude of the main escort’s character bugged me as if to say we are all somewhat miserable and bored, and can’t be a happy cheery escort providing a service to people. The one part I did identify with the film was the way the conversations between her and some of the clients went. Most people like to vent and have someone listen, which I do a lot of, but I also enjoy participating in the conversation and seem interested than just sit there saying, “Yea, uh huh” every so often like she did.

So in conclusion, I think it’s a good stab at making a film that was about an escort’s life but fell pretty short. The cinematography was quality but the script and screening of actors could have used some work. I wish I could sit in and help Hollywood make a decent, realistic film… maybe one day

I get asked this question quite a bit by nervous guys who feel like they are somehow inadequate to women and figure who better to ask than a girl who sees a lot of penises? I can see their reasoning’s why I might be a good person to ask….

I really started thinking about it when a Chinese guy in his early 20’s struck up a conversation while I was getting ready to leave.  He is going to school in the states for a few years and had observed some things, but was especially concerned about the discussion of penis size.  I think he had seen some pornographic movies since living here and asked, “So white men, they are like this long, huh?” and held up his hands to make a length of almost a FOOT. I almost died laughing watching him try to judge what he thought was the normal size of other men. Then he went on to say, “because I know… Chinese man is very small, huh?” I said to him that I don’t know what he watched or what he was judging it on, but if he was basing it on watching porno movies since living in the US then he shouldn’t be so concerned. I think the men that are in said movies are approximately 2% of the population and since they seem to last longer sometimes (I know they do several shots and takes to make it seem like they come once an hour) I think the size + stamina drops the stats down even further.  Maybe I am wrong, but I very very rarely see men who could audition for some sort of porn movie role.  Sounds crazy but true.

The average client I see has a penis between the length of 4-6 inches. The typical stamina of clients is fairly quick, which goes along with some statistics I read that the average man lasts 4-6 minutes. I think sometimes things last longer, here in Vegas, just because of the amount of drinking and partying that people do and THEN decide to call a prostitute. Usually those people can’t finish or get it up. I can usually tell this is going to happen within the first 2 minutes of starting to entertain a guy. Back to penis size though… I know a lot of people will disagree with my numbers but here’s my theory: maybe men who are significantly larger have more self confidence and they don’t feel the need to use the services of a prostitute or maybe they feel like they have something to prove and won’t use their services.  The one thing that shocks me the most though is the number of men who look like their penis was marred by a bad circumcision.  I see quite a few that point weird directions, come to a small point like a rocket, have super skinny shafts but a big mushroom head or vice versa, and the most painful of all: are hooked almost as much as Gonzo’s nose on the Muppets.

Either way, I hope I dismissed some myths and I know I definitely gave a little more confidence to the Chinese student by assuring him that he was normal and don’t worry about competing with the porn stars.

So you did it! You finally got the courage up and called one of those cards on the Strip a site from the Internet and decided that the fee sounded good and you told the girl or agency to send you someone.  A lot of people are nervous when they have to meet a girl and don’t know what to do or how to act. People are especially worried when the hotel they are staying at requires the guest to have someone pick them up downstairs and show a room key.  Hopefully I can give some good pointers on how you should and should NOT greet your date.

Sometimes when I meet with people downstairs their manners make me cringe and want to hide in a hole. By way of examples, some things you shouldn’t do:

Don’t greet your girl with a handshake

This sounds so obvious but so so many times when I find the guy who I am meeting he sticks out his hand to shake mine. I have to do a polite grabbing of the hand and pulling him close for a hug because I am supposed to “know” this person not just meeting them and going straight upstairs.  It looks so obvious and makes me feel incredibly uncomfortable.   What should you do? Go to the girl and maybe give a small hug, or say, “Hi how are you? Did you have fun tonight?” or something else that makes it seem like we know each other.

Don’t ask the girl in a loud boisterous voice, “Are you so-and so!?”

It’s okay to make sure you have the right girl, but keep your voice down and be a little more discreet. Also don’t introduce yourself as, “Hi, I’m John it’s so nice to meet you” for the same reasons as above.  Save the introductions for in the room behind closed doors. There will be plenty of time getting to know each other once you get upstairs.

Don’t ever ever bring up money downstairs

Another one that should be obvious but happens a lot –  If you are confused on fees and such, just take the time and ask the girl in private once you are upstairs your room. This will save a lot of embarrassment for both you and the girl.

If you don’t like the girl don’t make a big scene about it downstairs

If you asked for a tall hot blonde and the agency was foolish by sending you a short Hispanic girl, for example, don’t make a scene about it (especially in front of security at the elevators). Either take a walk with her and explain in a low voice you were looking for a different type of girl or politely take her upstairs and explain. By taking her upstairs you can explain what you want more clearly, and if you feel so inclined, giving her gas/taxi money would be polite as well. Girls just go where they were told to go by the phone girls and usually have no idea what request you gave to the agency, so don’t take it out on the escort. She is usually just as confused or upset as you are, as her time has been wasted too… just like yours has.

One thing you definitely should do:

Give the girl on the phone (when you must get them downstairs) a good description of what you look like and get a good description of the girl.. maybe even change clothes so you don’t look like everyone else wearing a black shirt and jeans. This makes it easy for both parties to meet in a timely manner, reduces any confusion, and most importantly helps keep everything very discreet and professional.

I hope this helps some people when getting a girl in Vegas from an agency or the Internet. It’s okay if you don’t know how things work but understanding these pointers helps a lot so no one feels embarrassed!