No Thanks, I Like My Job!
Every so often I get emails, comments on Twitter, or read comments on articles that I was featured in that really come across as hateful or in general sex worker bashing. (Oh, like that’s really anything new.) Of course everyone is entitled to their own opinion of prostitution and I respect that 1st Amendment right, however, it seems that since I am a sex worker then I am not entitled to my own opinion or to share my point of view of my line of work with others. Like I glorify it on here only speaking half truths, and maybe I really must hate myself, have Daddy issues, and was really forced into this line of work. Well, none of that’s true (I know the cynics will be disappointed!)
Since I stay up quite late at night, I typically wake up in time for lunch and sometimes eat out at places frequented by local corporate workers in their lunch breaks. I sit in a booth or table nearby and can’t help but hearing their ongoing, mundane conversations. Sometimes I don’t want to hear them, but that’s just too bad because I will be subjected to the woman bellowing out her latest bellyache about some other female employee or some other random drama back at the office. I sit there and I think to myself, is this what the average, anti-sex worker person wants me to do? Be just as miserable as this woman at her boring, dead-end corporate job? Who can’t even relax at a nice lunch for an hour and talk about anything else, maybe even something that’s nice and pleasant? I mean these people I listen to are average Joe corporate America with a “real” job where they go to some office for a set number of hours a day for a set number of days a week. All they can go on about is how they can screw over their boss or company (or government), instead of relaxing during that one hour off to eat. I sit there and think to myself, “If I had that job I would be so miserable and feel so trapped,” and yet in my current job I don’t ever feel that way. I don’t feel trapped, I don’t feel miserable, and I can’t beat making my own shedule. I know “they” all want me to feel that way, or “they” want me to come out and admit that my life is a wreck, but it isn’t, and I won’t ever let it be that way. Of course I have friends that really enjoy their jobs at corporations and the line of work they are in, and I am happy for anyone else who enjoys their job at the same type of place… It’s just not for me.
I had talked previously in a post about the dark side of prostitution and how it sickens me what people to do others with trafficking. There definitely are girls that need to be helped and pimps that need to be prosecuted for forcing anyone into prostitution. Yes, there is a dark side to this business, but there are dark sides to a lot of other businesses too. I recently read somewhere in a news article that the “happy hooker” is just a myth and it’s all a lie. No matter what we are all “victims” of “the game” (I really hate that term!) Sorry, but the girls I know are definitely not a myth and are not miserable. So please go help those who need the help (I would even like to help too), but don’t group us all into the category of being trapped or wanting out. I’m happy right where I am for now, and I can do whatever I want when I so chose.
Tags: Jobs
People who look for victims often think of themselves as heroes, but they act like vampires.
September 23rd, 2011 at 1:59 amAmen. Live and let live.
September 23rd, 2011 at 7:40 amMe too. Only freelancing day jobs have ever worked for me, and whenever I’m out of the sex industry for long, I miss it.
There’s a big difference between consensual and non-consensual prostitution, and it’s important that the mainstream begin to understand. It takes voices like yours. Thank you.
xx,
September 23rd, 2011 at 2:51 pmPhoenix
“I don’t feel trapped, I don’t feel miserable, and I can’t beat making my own schedule.”
Definition of success, sister.
I don’t make my own schedule, but I love what I do too, and can’t imagine retiring.
I fear that we are in the minority.
September 23rd, 2011 at 3:08 pmCorporate life gives people the illusion of security, and it is interesting to see what some people sacrifice for that illusion. But a lot of career decisions are based on preference and aptitude, and I have no doubt that there are entrepreneurial-minded women for whom the courtesan lifestyle is comfortable and lucrative (I’ve looked at some of their web sites – good marketing ideas there). In their profiles they suggest that they are content to be doing what they’re doing and – in practical terms – the culture would be in a sad state without them. The paradox of the sex industry is that its illegality makes a “dark side” almost inevitable. In any industry where a lot that goes on is illegal, there’s not much protection for people just trying to make a living, and predators are often free to do as they wish.
… Nate (SLC)
September 23rd, 2011 at 3:48 pmThere are few occupations as honest as yours. There are unhappy people in all professions but there are also people who really love what they do.
September 24th, 2011 at 7:31 amYou are a class act that owes apologies to no one. Your detractors all wish they could be you.
October 1st, 2011 at 9:26 pmGood points, I as a client I am also at the wrath of the feminists. I feel these people have a real hatred for me. I have appeared in chat radio shows where abolitionists have also given a view. Luckily in my country buying and selling sexual services is still legal. How long this state of affairs will last?
Alas stigma of being a sex worker or a client will always be there. Even in those who are broadly supportive of sex work, there is often still a feeling that she is doing the job because she has no other option. Like wise the clients must be losers and can’t get laid any other way. Both these scenarios are inaccurate.
Escort friends of mine have been outed by newspapers, in a country where sex work is legal, the result is they are ostracised by the community and local villagers have posted shit through their mail boxes, and called them whores when they gone to collect their children from school.
October 9th, 2011 at 12:06 amThis. So much this. My friends and I talk so much about how the sex industry is not a bad thing. I think it should be all legal. Only in our puritanical society is sex some evil thing to be ashamed of, but if we can legalize and regulate, we can help those girls who are controlled, beaten, raped and drugged up by their pimps. I’ve considered sex work myself; it certainly is lucrative, and god knows, after almost 6 years as a customer service representative for a large telecommunications company, I bet I would be on far fewer meds now had I taken that route than the one I just left.
October 29th, 2011 at 1:55 pmPhones and technology are getting smarter. People are too, but at a slower pace. Most people have a philosophy better suited to the middle ages. Rather than expect government and religion to serve them, they attempt to serve these institutions and demand everyone else do the same.
October 31st, 2011 at 6:02 amYour job is treated differently solely because it conflicts with the vision of the self appointed shepherds of men.
Amen. Whenever I’ve had office jobs, I spent lunch by myself and barked at people who insisted on spending their entire lunch “break” bitching and moaning. Especially uncompensated half hour lunch breaks! I have days where I can’t emotionally deal with how I make a living, but fortunately, I can afford to take those days off and make cancellations if necessary.
November 12th, 2011 at 10:49 pmReally great post, people have no right to act that way to you. You aren’t hurting any one with what you are doing, instead providing a service that while people currently don’t view favorably, it has been widely acceptable for much of our existence. It is great you are able to do something you enjoy so much for a living. Keep it up.
November 22nd, 2011 at 1:02 pmAnd if you are a professional, offer your services, FREE, to sex workers. Teach them how to protect themselves on a computer. Teach them tax advice. Show them how to start a company or find employment. Many women can’t even write a resume.
Most of all, understand that they are people that have dreams, hopes and aspirations. Maybe they just need someone to stand behind them.
December 5th, 2011 at 9:16 pmI like your job too!
December 12th, 2011 at 11:30 pmI agree 100%. Let the wanna be heros focus on those who really need help and leave those alone that don’t want or need help.
December 13th, 2011 at 6:34 amCouldn’t agree more here. Most decent sex workers love their jobs. I know all the girls that work out of our place wouldn’t dream of working in another profession. I mean they get guys coming down to see them all the time, bring them gifts and take them out all over town. They have the best party and then get paid. Whats not to love!
December 20th, 2011 at 5:59 amWow, what great writing about this subject. I work with and have seen the dark and the light. As being an ex-corporate worker and Advertising Exec, doing what you do beats being a BOT. Apparently you have fun, watch for danger and interact well with your clients. This is the biggest desire for ANY “career”. People will always be jealous and judge unfairly. It’s great when you have a man that just smiles and treats you as a queen. Nothing can beat that !
May 1st, 2013 at 12:02 pm