The Las Vegas Courtesan

So I talked about Trojan changing their condoms about a month ago and then found today that Consumer Reports had actually done a round of testing on 22 different “models” back in November. The one thing I don’t agree with on their testing was they only did a capacity test, not a friction test. They filled the condoms to a higher capacity than normally done at the production company and then submerged them to see if there was leakage. Apparently its a little difficult to round up couples who want to do the friction test with so many condoms over a long period of time and come back with results of their findings. I’m sure there could be another way to test friction in a lab, but of course it’s not the same thing as two humans performing the same test.

Another thing I noticed on their site was that they mostly tested the thinner condoms and how they held up. Wish I had the full subscription to see if they tested the condom I mostly use (and have witnessed a lot of other girls using) and if they were just trying to find the best combination of thinner and strong, instead of just the strongest condom. If you read what was said on ABC about the subject, more failure occurs with user error than anything else. Goes back to what I’ve said before: a lot of people don’t realize that water based lubricants are the only way to prevent tears or breakage in the condoms. I have to tell girls quite a bit about this rule when I see them pull out lotion or try to use baby oil.

Well maybe in the future Consumer Reports or some other independent testing agency will actually perform a friction test for the condoms instead of a water balloon test. Any volunteers? I’m sure they could find them if they looked harder!

I had said something on my Twitter feed a while back that I was shocked to learn after so many years, the typically used condom by most working girls I know, had changed. I didn’t think anything of it when I made my bi-monthly stop into Costco and loaded up 5+ boxes of the condoms into my cart and saw the yellow notice, “Now with improved lube!” Let me tell you of the odd looks I get at Costco. Flats of water, laundry detergent, house cleaning supplies, toilet paper, and a slew of Trojan condom boxes laying on top of everything (since it’s the last isle before checkout). Too bad they don’t have one of those pump style lube bottles in there because I would get that too!

So I got to a newer box finally and was on a call. I opened up the condom and immediately noticed not only is the lube different but the latex is as well. I always get the thickest condoms (along with most other girls here) for obvious reasons, and hated to see that the latex seemed thinner and more transparent. The good thing about the new lube is it doesn’t taste nasty any more. The previous version was covered in slimy sticky sweetness that I wiped off every time, which sometimes still didn’t get rid of it all. Now I am just worried about the thickness of the condoms. It doesn’t seem super thin but I hate a change in something I’ve come to trust for years! Misleading packaging for sure, but there isn’t another brand I would switch to that I would trust the same.

I need to start adding a surcharge for condoms… because this is getting ridiculous. I usually prepare myself for clients by stocking up on the large boxes of Trojan condoms at Costco or the cheaper Wal-Mart by my house because they are $9-$10 for the whole huge pack. When I run out in the middle of the night because customers are using 3+ condoms and somehow depleted my condom supply in a week? I have to resort to going to Walgreens on the Strip which ends up costing me $30 for the same pack or when I’m in a pinch, $5 for 3 condoms from the gift shop or convenience store. That money adds up!

So.. my conclusion is the first two condoms are free… use 3 and up? $100 surcharge. Haha. Ok so the math works out in my favor but dangit! I am tired of looking like a skank asking for condoms from Habib behind the counter, that weird lady in the gift shops, or shelling out the unnecessary $20 at Walgreens at 4am. I like to do my rubber shopping along with the rest of my shopping! Then maybe no one notices the 60+ condoms in my basket 🙂